So I received "fan mail" today! How exciting! Only it was kinda in the form of "I can do way better than you" mail. I will "read" part of it to you (with her permission).
"Hey Bob,
...but yesterday's bothered me. You claimed you and your husband did everything you could possibly do but your baby still had a "tantrum" in the library (I put quotes there because that was your wording, not mine). I think this was largely dishonest on your part. If only to yourself. There is no way a perfectly normal child should ever have a tantrum. It disrespectful to you, her, and rude to fellow library patrons. Did you think perhaps she had a shortage of food, didn't want to be at the library, or didn't receive enough love that day? I am not suggesting that you don't love her, from reading your blogs I know that is not the case but sometimes middle children go neglected. You know? Especially in a family as large as yours. I have no children of my own but I know for a fact they will never resort to such behavior because they will always have everything they need. I will also never take them anywhere they don't want to go. I don't know why parents insist on forcing kids to go places they don't like. And I don't mean I plan on buying my kids everything they want but what I am talking about is that they will be provided for emotionally. I don't mean to preach but you know. Perhaps you are wearing yourself thin and a spa day or weekend away with your closest friends is in order..."
I received this right after having a mini argument (which later turned into a big one) with a friend who constantly throws homeschooling jabs at me. So I found this even more irritating than I normally would. Come on... I don't hand out parenting advice (unless asked) to any other parents. I know how annoying it can be to receive unsolicited advice and the LAST person I would want any from is from someone who didn't have kids. Even doctor's change their tunes when they have kids. So many times I hear things like, "I was reading this book about parenting and they said..." or "I took this class on raising kids...". I don't care, you are not an expert. AND unless you have had 10 kids who all grew up into perfect/self actualized adults who then proceeded to raise all their own children into perfect adults then perhaps I will consider you an expert. This doesn't mean you will never have anything valid to say, but be cautious as when you do voice your "expertise" most parents wont take to kindly to it.
I am not a expert either. Nowhere close, but I know my kids. I don't pretend like I know how to raise anyone else's. I personally believe you are the parent to your child for a specific reason (I include foster and adopted children in this as well). And I believe that YOU are the perfect person to raise said child/ren. Does that mean I believe you are or I am a perfect parent, no. Does it mean I think we can fail at times? Absolutely. In fact, I've gone to bed crying because I believed that I had somehow ruined the rest of my child's life with a mistake (or two, or a hundred) I had made that day. However there are very few things I believe are true in raising all children such as: no beating, berating, neglecting. They all need limits and love. The rest is up to you. Yes, I have my theories and opinions and they work for me and our family. Children are still people.. and therefore individuals. They learn and react differently from each other and even from their siblings. My husband and I are still learning, but I think we're on the right track.
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