Thinks Twice

A MOTHER ALWAYS HAS TO THINK TWICE, ONCE FOR HERSELF AND ONCE FOR HER CHILD. ~SOPHIA LOREN

This quote has always been at the back of my mind and I haven't never given it a whole lot of thought until it became quite real to me today. Ty wanted to treat me to a small goodie. When asked what I would like my first thought was immediately, "what would my little mooches enjoy nibbling off of the best?". Ty noticing that this simple question had put me into seemingly deep thought said, "What do YOU want. Don't even think about what the kids want. This is something special for YOU." My brain could NOT comprehend what he said! I tried to think harder. Something chocolate sounds good. No HQ can't have that. OH! Iced tea! No, Izzy wouldn't like that and HQ would want some since she LOVES Starbucks cups then she would be upset that it tasted horrible to her. Or worse, she'd like it and then I'd have myself one crazy caffeinated toddler. I suppose I could just enjoy it in the other room.. Nah, HQ would see right through that! I know many of my friends without kids would say, "Get what you want and use that as a lesson in disappointment". It hard to enjoy something when you have a toddler crying in your face because she wants some. Plus, I think a one year old would just think you're being mean and not actually learn anything from it.  

Granted this inner debate is a rather trivial example, but it seriously is everything! From obvious future events all the way down to having to go to the bathroom. I need to go to the bathroom. Where is the baby? Is he in a safe enough spot while I'm gone? Where is HQ? Will she poke him in the eye or try to feed him something and thereby causing him to choke while I am in the bathroom? Should I just bring the baby with me? Every time I go to the bathroom it's the same thing. 

Will it always be like this? I suppose one day I should be able to order an iced tea without having to think about it or go to the restroom in peace, but I can't imagine having thoughts that wouldn't impact/involve my children in some way. At least not right now. But hey, I like it that way. :)