Mommy Has Mono

So the same day the Vikings won (yay!) and the Packers lost (yay!) it occurred to me I probably had mono (boo!). I had a cold since the end of August. It seemed to linger and then turned evil. I woke up one morning and all the lymph nodes in my neck, jaw, and behind my ear felt like they were going to explode along with my throat and gums. On top of that I was exhausted. 

I went in to see a doctor to have it confirmed and I was told to REST, REST, REST. The more you rest the quicker you heal. Riiiiight! I thought. With a husband who is out of the house near 70 hours a week and 3 small children at home this was the silliest prescription I could be given. Talking was a painful chore. Eating was a painful chore. Staying awake to make sure my kids didn't kill each other or themselves was a chore and knowing this would be long lasting made me depressed. I was overwhelmed. 

How are you going to prescribe a pill this big for someone with a crazy swollen throat?

Within days of finding out about my mono a dear friend helped set up meals for my family through our homeschool loop. So although I haven't had the strength to stand for more than two minutes in the last 20 days my husband and children have still been fed delicious nutritious meals because of these amazing women. On top of that my mother has been doing her best to help out with the kids while Ty is at work and the poor woman has been fighting sickness herself. Ty's mom came to help me out this past weekend. Before I was overwhelmed with how we are going to do this and now I am overwhelmed with how amazing everyone has been in making sure we are taken care of. We are so blessed!

HQ at her ER visit :(
She tried to trick us into thinking she had pneumonia (scary!) but discovered it was a minor lung and tonsil infection.

Mono can't be all bad when that means pumpkin pie is in the house!

I found my sweet baby boy lying outside my door with his shark and blanket while I tried to nap.

The pain is finally beginning to alleviate.  Well, the edge is off anyway. I'm still exhausted and lack the strength to wash my own hair and eat all kinds of foods, but I know I am on the right track. Locke is constantly hugging and kissing me. I can tell he misses my energy. Izzy has been doing her best to help out by making sure the little ones are fed breakfast, refills my water, and helps keep an eye on the little ones. It makes me feel like I am doing something right :) 

I  miss my husband. The moment he gets home I go to bed and he is so exhausted from playing mom and dad that I don't think I have had more than 10 minutes of face time with him since this sickness started. I suppose the thing that really bums me out is that I will be sick on our anniversary. I guess it's for the best anyway because after all these doctor/hospital bills who has money to go out!

Happy Face!!

Happy Independence Day! After having a pretty painful last few days (ovarian cyst rupture and blood tests) something fun was due. 

The first thing Izzy did this morning was make flags for her and a few friends. She also learned what the stars and stripes stand for. After making her own flags she realized who ever made the actual flag must have been real tired after making 50 stars. 

I tried a few different festive ways to do HQ's hair... she did not like this one.
She went with headbands.

We went to the birthday party of one of our favorite people, Angel. There was a ton of delicious food, a bounce house, cake, and his lovely sister playing Happy Birthday (and Pirates of the Caribbean) on the accordion. HQ was most excited about the seemingly endless supply of juice, which is a rare treat in our home!

2 headbands, and yes, this is her party face.

Happy Birthday, Angel! :D

After the party we headed to my parents' for a steak dinner. More deliciousness! We're so fat.

On our way to the Grandparents'.
They wiped out within moments of getting in the car. They party hard.

HQ and my brother playing "the flying blue dog".

My mom had the back deck set up so pretty. :)

The girls praying and giving thanks before their dinner.

Locke LOVES pasta!!! (and dirt..)

Playing a matching card game. HQ is surprising good and this and yahtzee.

After dinner we headed to the beach for fireworks. Two years ago Izzy fell in love with a beach house that Ty's step family goes to every year, but we haven't been invited to anything on that side of the family since Christmas, so the local beach it was!

Waiting for fireworks

Still waiting...

Locke and my dad :)

The kids loved the fireworks. HQ's favorite was the, "happy base" (happy face) ones. She liked calling out the colors of each one too.

They got a little antsy... 

It was pretty neat to be able to see the fireworks in Hermosa Beach while waiting for Redondo's to start. It was like two shows for the price of one... which was free. 

Headband Obsession

HQ has a crazy headband obsession. She wears them everyday. Sometimes she wears 4. At the same time. She's crazy. Izzy refused to wear them at HQ's age, so this is new for me. HQ doesn't like leaving the house without one. We have a few spares in the car. She doesn't seem to care what they look like on her head, she just wants to be wearing at least one!

She did her hair herself. Crazy kid.

We went to Disneyland yesterday. My parents got us annual passes and yesterday was the last day before the summer blackout. We thought it would be a great idea to go, but apparently a lot of people had the same idea. It did seem to clear up a bit in the afternoon though.

My girls know how to accessorize!

Waiting in line for the Finding Nemo submarine.
I don't know why there are always whiny/crabby kids there. Our kids' faces looked like this the whole time...

Making sure the glass is really there in the submarine.

We went with one of our favorite families. I love seeing Izzy interact with these girls.
They're all so cool. 

On Jungle Cruise (one of Locke's favorites).
Again, who cares what your hair looks like as long as you got a headband on?

Locke's favorite part was the piranhas.
He jumped up and down and giggled like crazy. 

 Today we had a busy morning running some errands, but were able to spend the rest of the day at home.

Izzy proudly wearing her new watch.
She's such a hard worker :)

Teaching Izzy how to sew is already paying off. Well, I enjoy teaching her regardless, but now she is able to repair her own toys and dress up clothes:

Poor Bob-omb needed stitches. Izzy pretended she worked in a bomb hospital.
She said the stitches didn't hurt Bob-omb because he's a bomb and this kind of stuff makes him laugh. 

Donning a hand-me-down Princess Tiana dress.
She called this a cake dress.  /shrug 

Izzy's first American Girl sewing project. A pair of jammie pants for Scarlett. 

Pathetic Adrenaline Junkie

I’m an adrenaline junkie. I love action movies, video games, and loud music. I was a runner, salsa dancer, and kick boxer. Anything that made my heart beat fast was the bees knees for me. It’s when I feel the most “alive”. But there was no adrenaline high that quite compared to running for me. 

Running became my favorite time to think, meditate, and pray. When I was angry, sad, or confused I would run harder. There were times I would think if I could run fast enough I know I could sprout wings and fly directly into God’s arms. I would run through physical pain because it made me feel like I had control over what was going on in my body, not the pain. There was even a time in my life where the people closest to me could tell how I was doing by how my tush looked. I could start a run in tears and finishing crashing into the sand laughing. It was when I felt closest to God. 

Shortly after becoming pregnant with HQ I was put on bed rest. I watched my 28 inch waist grow into a whopping 46 inches. I didn’t mind THAT much. I was going to have a beautiful baby. And no big deal, I’ll get to run like crazy after she’s born anyway. I counted the days down to the post baby physical. That was when I knew I was going to hear that I could run again. Each day I grew more and more excited. I remember even telling Ty, “Only five more days until my appointment!” It was like I was waited for my best friend to come home from a very long vacation. The day of the doctor’s appointment I patiently went through all the tests and what not. Right before my doctor sat down to tell me the results I blurted out “I can start running now, right?!”, he chuckled and said, “No, honey, you’re done running”. Never had I wanted to punch someone so bad before in my life. I panicked and looked to Ty for comfort. The moment the doctor left the room I hysterically said, “Why don’t they just freaking amputate?!”. Ty laughed thinking I was joking, but then quickly threw his arm around me and said, “We can buy you a bike instead, would you like that?”. I wanted to yell, "No! That's not the same at all! That's like saying, "We're all out of ice cream, here, have and onion"".

I know this won’t earn me any points, but that night after a middle of the night feeding I looked at my beautiful sleeping 6 week old and went all Tom Hanks on her and said, “Earn this”. I truly wish I could say I took it back in that moment, or better yet that it never happened, but I didn’t. Reading that over again makes me feel so pathetic.

Over the next couple weeks I would randomly burst into tears over the death of my running. My prayers had become short and often bitter. Ty would do his best to comfort me saying things like, “I still think you’re hot”, and “I really wish you didn’t care so much about how you looked, it's your heart that matters”. It didn’t help. It wasn’t about how I looked. In my eyes I felt that it was God’s way of saying He didn’t want to talk to me anymore. I just didn’t get it. I struggled with thinking I thought we only lost things were weren’t grateful for. I was SO grateful. I didn’t take it for granted. 

I continued to pout for weeks. More and more people would tell me their “secrets” of how they lost their baby weight and a few bolder people even said to me, “why are you letting yourself go? You were so hot.” They had no idea that it was a spiritual struggle I was going through and not a motivational one. A dear friend and I were in a fun lighthearted conversation and all of a sudden she turned to me confided that she idolized something.  It was recently taken away from her and, like me, she didn’t understand why. Losing it made her realize how much she idolized it. It finally hit me. I idolized my running. More than that, I idolized feeling like I had that much control. 

I do still miss running, but I have learned more from not being able to do it than actually being able to. I have learned how to truly be grateful, how childish I can be, and, most importantly, how to have an open conversation with God at all times. I am now truly thankful for losing "my legs".  

Oh, and my husband has yet to get me a bike! 

No Onions

Today was day one of P90X for me (again...)! Last time I made it two days... not consecutively. But here's hoping for a solid start this time!

I've been sick for about a month now. Supposedly there is a super throat virus going around. I have had a major sore throat and pretty bad fatigue for weeks (no, it's not mono). I usually whip out my sewing once the kids go to bed around 8. Ty and I will watch a movie or game while I create, but by the time the kids are down and the dishes are washed I've been feeling ready for bed. That is very unlike me! As I wash dishes I am usually dreaming of the sewing that awaits. Pattern making, sewing seam, ripping seams, ironing, and just plain old being creative. This lame fatigue has slowed my sewing progress down quite a bit, but here is what I am currently working on:

Independence Day goodies!
I got these fabrics 2 Julys ago.. I figured it was time to do something with them.

Working on a apron. I saw something similar to this a while back, and thought I would give it a go.
I can't make up my mind on whether or not it looks too busy. 

Ready to head to the beach.
HQ picked out her socks herself. She is very careful in making sure they are the same color,
but same shade and style are totally optional. 

Looking for a new pair of "nerd" glasses. I think these work!

A math incentive for Izzy from Grandma. Two of Izzy's bffs own one so of course she wanted one too.

I started juicing again. I haven't done it since before Locke was born. It just seems like a bit of a bigger chore now, but it is totally worth it. We made Popeye Punch (spinach, raspberries, and pineapple). It was so delicious and was like drinking two cups of coffe! It's seriously the easiest way to get veggies into our kids. They like broccoli and carrots, but that's about it. This way they get a greater variety and they don't even know it. Suckers!

Apparently this juicer makes an even bigger mess when you can't find all the pieces.
The juice was still yummy though. (No onion went into this juice.)

Mmm... breakfast!

I decided to squash all big cooking/baking into one day. I love to cook, but I find that there are some days it feels like I never leave the kitchen. So, on "kitchen day" we bake cookies, freeze dough, make ice cream, or any desserts we plan on having that week. We season and cut up meat that will be used, cut up any veggies, shred any cheese, and bake any bread. This cuts down cooking and clean up time for the rest of the week and thus makes it much more enjoyable. The girls seem to love it and it's a great way to sneak in a bunch of math.

HQ helping :) 

Multitasking! A bigger kitchen would be nice...

HQ's favorite cooking adventure so far is ice cream. It helps that that is one of her favorite things to eat too. Tonight she actually went to bed with a recipe book in her hands. My little weirdo :)

Hahee's Jacket

I have been lying around sicker than I believe I have ever been these past few days. The pink eye in both my eyes has finally cleared up and I can see so I felt a blog was in order.

While making the dresses for Izzy and her friends HQ kept asking, "Fo Hahee?". When I was making the apron for my baby sister I got the same doe eyes and hopeful question, "Fo Hahee?" So yes, it's "Hahee's" turn. 

Fo Hahee?

Remember my New Years' resolutions? Well, with the year being about half over I figured it was time to start on those. I pulled an item out of my "make into something useful" box and made something useful.

Before

This is a jacket I lived it when Ty and I dated. I love Billabong jackets. This was so worn in there were gross stains in really awkward spots on this bad boy. Ty also loved this jacket and I just felt I couldn't part with it. I also knew I would never wear it again with it being so gross now (and since it can no longer zip up over my boobs). We can't keep it as is because that would mean we would be weird hoarders if we kept something we never had any intention of ever using again.

See? Look at me living in it.
The last pic I'm preggo with HQ so it couldn't zip it up then either.

I pondered a short while and then decided what better way to keep it in our lives a little longer than by making it into a jacket for HQ. A simple project :D

Completely deconstructed (I love deconstructing stuff). Ty came home from work during this process and was crushed. He thought I went through a bout of crazy hormones and shredded the thing... Not like he'd ever seen me go hormone crazy before (just don't ask about the cheesecake incident of 2011).

It was time to take a break. I don't sew a whole lot when the kids are all up (unless it's hand sewing) because they think it is more fun to pull all my sewing supplies out or "help me" push on the presser foot. Well, Izzy likes it when I sew. She has her own machine now and is very excited about sewing. The other two don't share our passion. 

It was a weekend but we decided to do some school work. She went to Disneyland twice this week so I don't feel bad!
And anyway, see? She's happy to be doing schoolwork on a weekend.

Watching a fish documentary.
Mesmerizing.

Locke went down for a nap so I decide to use that time to finish HQ's jacket. I turned on some music so Izzy and HQ could enjoy the sewing time too. Terrible idea. I was so distracted by HQ that I sewed the zipper into the jacket UPSIDE DOWN. Had I not been so flustered I would have thought to take a picture. : /

It took her 2 minutes to pull everything out of the repair pile, tulle drawer, and a hand-me-down bin.
Little creep. 

I completed her jacket. I had her try it on and she was so happy that Mommy made something for HER.
I made it a little big in the hopes that it should fit perfect by the time fall comes around again. I didn't have to buy a thing for this project either. I was able to cut around all the stains and reuse the same zipper. The only thing better than using fancy fabrics and making something gorgeous is being able to make something useful for free (or pretty darn close to it)!

Completed jacket! Ty said it looks exactly the same, only little. That's what I was going for!
Yeah, yeah.. I should have gotten a picture of it on her. 

Sewing Again

I went through a bit of a sewing drought. I miscarried again a couple months ago 3 days before the "12 week mark". With that last pregnancy I had decided to finally cave in a make myself a few maternity items. If I was going to look like a moose I figured I may as well look like a moose in clothes I enjoy. My design book was chalk full of ideas and I had fabrics already pulled from my stash ready to make said items... putting them back on my shelf was a painful process. Since all the projects I had planned were surrounded by the idea of having another little one, my desire to sew dropped.

Two weeks ago I got my sewing libido back. I don't know what to credit it to. I suppose it was either grace or just the realization on my part that wallowing in self pity doesn't take you very far. Since then I made three little girl's dresses and a birthday present for my little sister. 

You can tell Izzy feels quite regal in her dress based on her posture.
She's usually a pretty wiggly girl. :)

I like to pretend that the girl on the very right is super excited about wearing that dress.

My baby sister turned 16. She asked me for a Tom Brady apron... Yes, Tom Brady the fancy haired pretty boy quarterback of the New England Patriots. My sister loves four things: tennis, slurpees, cooking, and Tom Brady.

This guy... Really, Shannon?

Anyway, I decided to look for Tom Brady fabric. I expected to find at least one online store offering some sort of cheesy fabric with his face silk screened all over it. But alas, I was out of luck. I then went to check prices on designing my own fabric (not as expensive as you would think) but was given a quote of $45 for what I need... sorry Mr. Brady, but you aren't THAT pretty. So plain old team fabrics was where I headed next. Since it's not football season finding teams fabrics is harder, but much cheaper.

I found this for a total of $6. Much better!

My sister wanted a full apron.
Note: This is not my sister. This is my dress form, Allison.

Tom Brady's Jersey number.

The back. 

Anyway I'm sure she'll like it. Izzy didn't quite get why Shannon would want an ugly apron like this when she could get one in a lovely purple and gold...